Random Sadness
by KatieTheFanGirl
Summary: This is just dedicated to a friend from something we do with the metacrisis of the 10th doctor. I cried writing it so excuse any spelling mistakes. Love ya Aly! This is for you!


John sat on the couch. Her seat remained empty. Her laugh didn't fill the air. Her smile didn't brighten his world. Nothing could. He was looking through her sketchbook, somewhat numbly. Gorgeous drawings, but as they got further and further to the current date, they got sadder and sadder and more hitting. Her last one. One of a girl in a bed, an angel and a grim reaper, playing cards, the grim reaper with the winning hand, smiling at the girl. The girl was bald, and had a feeding tube, and oxygen, and had tears down her cheek, and a man held her hand tightly, tears down his cheek too. And damn, he looked just like John.

_John sat down next to his baby. The young girl that had just came into his life... He grabbed her hand and looked at her. She had a feeding tube since she was throwing up and her cancer had spread to her lungs. And they didn't notice. The Chemo hadn't worked. The tumors had grown. She looked at him and smiled._

_"Hi Daddy" she whispered. _

_"Hi, sweetpea" he said back and smiled sadly. I'm not going to be a father... he thought._

_"Daddy . . . I really don't wanna go" she whispered and tears came down her cheek._

_"It's gonna be okay baby you don't have to go" he said and wiped away the tears._

_"Daddy, I want you to have my sketchbook and I want to be burried with Dawn and I want Mum to be at my funeral" she said. _

_It was killing him she was practically writing out her dying wishes._

_"And go and adopted another girl. Okay? Go and find yourself a new baby. And be the best father, just like you have been to me" she said._

_He sniffed and nodded, then gently kissed her forhead with trembling fingers. He had to leave to do a few things, and got a call maybe an hour later, telling him to come back to her room. Outside was her other doctor. _

_"I . . . I'm so sorry John" he murmured. Jack was in a chair, sobbing. John looked in the room and saw his daughter lying still, a nurse taking out her IVS, her feeding tube, her oxygen, everything. He sat numbly and sat next to Jack, then proceeded to cry silently. His baby was gone._

It was her funeral day. She was to be burried with Dawn on her chest, and her mother and him were both going to toss in the first pile of dirt as she had requested. And her last words made him want to sob. "I'm gonna ask God if I can paint the sunrise and sunset. So that my daddy can still be able to know I'm there" Her very last words were "My daddy wont be a daddy anymore..."

And he wasnt. He no longer was a father. He was once a father. Now not. He went to the small funeral home and watched as people came in, dressed in black. All of the kids from the orphanage came in, each with a rose. They all set them down by the casket. John looked at the girl inside. She had on a blonde wig (Juliet hated being bald), and a green dress. She was smiling slightly and her lips were pink. He closed his eyes and sat down. He listened to the priest speak, about how she was a fighter, and how she was a martyr, and most of all, a daughter to a man who needed someone else. He got up and said very little before he was sobbing.

And then it was her mother's turn. Her mother got up and sniffed.

"I gave birth, to a gorgeous baby girl on March 21st. And I put her in an orphanage one month later, thinking that maybe she'd find someone. I never knew what would happen. My fiance, now my husband, didn't want her, because she wasn't his. She was John's. And she always will be John's. Because she never was mine. Never would I have guessed that Juliet would wait for 12 years before even leaving the premise of the orphanage. And never would I imagine John to find her, and then have her ripped away from him before she was even thirteen. I am so guilty for never meeting her, for giving her up, for leaving John. And there will never be a day I won't regret it. There will never be a day I won't tell my boys about their older sister. Because she was . . . She IS amazing" she said and sat down, tears down her cheek, next to John who wrapped an arm around her and looked at the casket as he let more tears out himself.

John helped to carry the casket, which was awful. Knowing the box on his shoulder held the only person he had loved for so long. His baby girl. It killed him. It killed him more, looking at her grave.

And the look on Mrs. Cooper's face hurt. And the kids' faces all were sad and a tiny girl was sobbing, yelling for Juliet to wake up from the ground. Two boy's, identical, came up and put lillies down, then stood next to Juliet's mother, who was now looking at the headstone.

"She was too young, John" she whispered. "And I am an awful mother." She looked at him. "You gave her everything she wanted in life, in six months."

John sighed and sniffed back tears. "She wanted to become a cardio surgeon. She wanted to get her art published. She wanted to meet you. She wanted to go to Paris. She wanted so much that I couldn't give her. Megan she wanted so much and I gave her so little."

Megan wiped away a few tears and looked at John. "I miss you" she murmured.

He looked away. The woman had hurt him but . . . he missed her too.

~Five years later~

"Megan baby!" John yelled as he made breakfast for his step sons, whom loved him. They watched him flip a pancake and laughed as he goofed up slightly. They were ten now.

Megan came down with a baby girl who had been crying seconds before. She had blonde hair, and green eyes, and she was gorgeous already. He smiled and looked at her.

"Juliet" Megan cooed.

John took her and kissed her head and rocked her gently. He walked upstairs to a nursery, drawings and paintings lined the walls, and light green paint was on the walls. Also a picture. Of a smiling blonde girl with green eyes, maybe 11 or 12 years old.

"That's who you're named after" John said and pointed. "She'd be 17 today. She was a fighter you know" he said. "She died of cancer. Her body didn't like the medicne we gave her." He sighed and gently kissed the newborn's head. "I promise I won't let it happen to you. But she's looking over you. She's smiling and saying you're a pretty little girl and that she loves you."

_Juliet smiled. "How do you know that?" she said as she followed him back downstairs. Later that night, she was painting the sunset, and then saw him look out the window until the sun was below the horizon. _

"What are you thinking?" Megan asked as she got ready for bed.

"Nothing. It's just . . . that sunset was for me" he murmured.

"How do you know?"

"Juliet asked God to paint the sunrise and sunset for me" he informed his wife.

_"And he said yes" Juliet said. She walked over to a crib and looked at the baby girl inside. She gently pressed her lips to the girl's head and the baby noticed her, reaching her hands up for her. Juliet smiled and let the girl grab into her finger quickly. "I'll watch over you" she whispered. "Okay?" _


End file.
